Keepin On

The frist half of my root canal went well. I have a really bad infection so they couldn't do the whole thing. I go back Tuesday for the 2nd half and crown. I feel so much better though. Wish the drive didn't suck but when your getting a good deal you take it! I had my MRI on my foot yesterday. I'll find out Monday (if the MRI comes back on time) whats wrong. I don't know how I feel about it because on the one hand who wants surgery or physical therapy but on the other hand I don't want them to say nothings wrong when the pain is getting worse and worse. Kinda makes me think of infertility. UGH! School is moving along. I'm doing ok. I wish I was doing better thought. I think I'm just going to go part time next semester. I can't afford to pay for school if I'm not working and working even part time and going to school full time is ALOT! I'm scared about next month when we start our PRIDE classes. Saturdays are my day to sleep and recharge and well get all my homework done and with class from 10-5 there won't be any sleeping in and I can do homework at night but man I'm gonna be whipped out!! My mom keeps telling me why don't you push off the classes until JAN and I think yeah that would be easier but It's been 5 years of trying I don't want to push it off!! I wanted a baby like well years ago. OH MY WORD 5 years, did I just say that?! Now I wanna cry! Why does this have to be so hard? I feel like such a weak person sometimes, a jelouse person. Part of me coupons for baby things and really does believe we'll get out baby but the sad part of me thinks am I kidding myself, are we really going to get a baby?! UGH This just isn't something your suppose to worry about pretty much your whole 20's. Ok now I've got tears welling up and my lunch is about up so I'm going to suck them in and head to class and try to not think about it. I thought school was suppose to keep my mind off this and help me toward a degree in the mean time. Guess this shows what I really want in life. I suck!