Jelly

That's what I call jealousy when I'm trying to play it down. Man I swear Somedays it just comes out of nowhere. Normally I can be happy for everybody else without beig to sad for myself and other days (I think it's when I'm pmsing or on af tht it happens most) I wanna punch someone.

I know other people are older than me, I know other people have an equally hard time if not harder than me but sometimes even when an infertile gets pregnant it stings. I'm so happy for all of you when you finally get pregnant or for those who lose babies get futher along. Somedays I wanna cry. I'm younger then most and I've trying longer then most and I feel like when is it my turn?

Now I'm crying because I feel so ashamed! I should be happy for more babies, no matter how they are made. I should be greatful I'm pmsing so we can start iuI. I should be happy we get to do iUI. I'm just so jelly! I just want to be a mom.