Thursday, September 27, 2012

Keepin On

The frist half of my root canal went well. I have a really bad infection so they couldn't do the whole thing. I go back Tuesday for the 2nd half and crown. I feel so much better though. Wish the drive didn't suck but when your getting a good deal you take it! I had my MRI on my foot yesterday. I'll find out Monday (if the MRI comes back on time) whats wrong. I don't know how I feel about it because on the one hand who wants surgery or physical therapy but on the other hand I don't want them to say nothings wrong when the pain is getting worse and worse. Kinda makes me think of infertility. UGH! School is moving along. I'm doing ok. I wish I was doing better thought. I think I'm just going to go part time next semester. I can't afford to pay for school if I'm not working and working even part time and going to school full time is ALOT! I'm scared about next month when we start our PRIDE classes. Saturdays are my day to sleep and recharge and well get all my homework done and with class from 10-5 there won't be any sleeping in and I can do homework at night but man I'm gonna be whipped out!! My mom keeps telling me why don't you push off the classes until JAN and I think yeah that would be easier but It's been 5 years of trying I don't want to push it off!! I wanted a baby like well years ago. OH MY WORD 5 years, did I just say that?! Now I wanna cry! Why does this have to be so hard? I feel like such a weak person sometimes, a jelouse person. Part of me coupons for baby things and really does believe we'll get out baby but the sad part of me thinks am I kidding myself, are we really going to get a baby?! UGH This just isn't something your suppose to worry about pretty much your whole 20's. Ok now I've got tears welling up and my lunch is about up so I'm going to suck them in and head to class and try to not think about it. I thought school was suppose to keep my mind off this and help me toward a degree in the mean time. Guess this shows what I really want in life. I suck!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


Thats how I feel. I have a HORRIBLE toothache. Root Canal tomorrow, thank goodness!! Although I have to drive close to 5 hours each way alone to the dentist. I'm not happy about the drive me the pain is so bad I just want it done. I shouldn't have waited until it started hurting to get it fixed. My boot is also hurting so bad, it always done the day after an apt. Ya know the whole let me push on very little thing and you tell me if it hurts. YES IT HURTS!! Waiting to hear when my MRI is. My bosses at work are being ummm hows a nice way to say it, not understanding that I have doctors apts. Pretty much told me they don't want me to come in late for doctors apt, didn't want to give me the day off for the dentist. Can't I just skip school and go, umm no! They pretty much don't want me to go to school in the spring. It's just to hard on them when I'm not there. HELLO! We've lost a person and I went part time, you need to hire somebody full time! DUH! I'm only one person. UGH, can you tell I'm annoyed. All that to say I'm looking for a new job. I want to work M-W-F and I want holiday/sick/vacation pay and if I need to come in late for a doctors apt one day then thats ok (I don't mind staying late). I think my sister can get me a job with her company and they are very understand and flex sch. Not to much going on with the adoption. Waiting for our home study. They have done all of our reference checks so I don't think the home study is to far off. Our PRIDE classes start the first weekend in OCT. I'm ready to get them over, but I'm scared about how it's going to effect everything else. I study and get my homework done on Saturdays, I sleep in and thats what keeps me going all week and that won't be there when we start classes. Just another thing I can over come right? School is going well. I had my first two tests today, yes on top of feeling crappy!! I know I aced my first one and feel better good on the 2nd but we'll see. Sorry for the rambling. I have been trying to keep up and read your blogs just suck at writing myself or commenting. I can only get away with so much nonstudying internet. Hubbys pretty umm whats a nice word, kindly reminds me all the time you need study babe. LOL