I go back and forth a lot….sometimes I want to share this entire journey with the entire world, sometimes I don’t want anyone to know. I’ve realized over the past few months that even though I’m not ready to share this entire journey with every friend and family member I have….I am ready to open up a bit more to what I am going through. I took my blog off of “private” so that I could meet new friends who I could support, and also who could support me and understand what I am going through. I’ve invited more “real-life” friends to read my blog (thank you to those who have stuck with me….I appreciate it even if I don’t say so.) I am more open to answering questions about our journey. Though it is difficult….if you want to know….I’ll tell you.
The point of this post is to say that even though I’ve been able to open up more to people, this also opens me up to more pain when those I have let in don’t know how to support me. Again, I wanted to thank Krista for bring thing article to my attention. The author describes in detail things not to say to someone who is infertile. I’ve dealt with many of these statements over the past 3 years and it is so painful. While I love the support, I hope people will learn how to best support me through this process.
Aside from this article, you can support me by understanding that I am not going to be the best of friend during this time. I may cancel plans, I may not make plans at all, I may not return your phone call, I may not comment on your facebook post, I may not return your phone call, I may bit a bit spacey, I may not make a whole lot of sense to you right now, I may not seem to care about much else (which is probably true, I apologize.) I can do very little right now to plan for my future, it’s day by day. I am doing what I can right now, and trying to focus on other things as I can, but if I don't act like myself that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you and appreciate your support.