Hang in there!

I've just been working and trying to keep my mind off things. I feel like the 12th is so far away. I am trying to slowly try to get things done so when we go to our meeting and get the paperwork were ready and prepared so we can get everything checked off quickly. I've started working on the life book. It's pretty much just a book with pics of us, family, friends, animals. I'm only about three pages in but so far so good. I ordered a new dresser and book shelf to get finished unpacked. We just don't have room for all our clothing so that should fix the mess in our room. All thats in the spare/baby room is books so a bookshelf will fix that. Then I can try and make it more kid friendly. I wanna get things clean and organized and ready for the home study, even though I know it might not happen for a couple months. This whole waiting for 2 plus years might get a little annoying! On a brighter note, OU has decided to give me in-state tuition so I'm all set for school in the Fall! Maybe that'll help me keep my mind off things while I wait. Who knows I might have to slow it down and only take one class because were giving a baby, or I might have my BA by the time we get one. This is crazy, I feel like I live in two worlds.

Scared

We got our packet this weekend. DH and I went to dinner and went over the packet and it's really scary. They need so much stuff; banking info, letters from employers, references, insurance info, car insurance, drivers license, just a lot of stuff! This is so scary, what if we don't get approved. I don't wanna tell anybody because what if we don't or we change our minds, but we need references. I'm pretty open with saying we are infertile but saying were moving forward with adoption I guess is scary, I wish I had a better word but I don't. I'm trying to stay claim and chill but it's hard. I wanna be excited but then again what if it takes forever, what if it doesn't work. I wanna buy stuff and yet what if we don't get approved, but I don't wanna get a call hey you have a baby and we have no stuff. Once again I just wish I could shut my brain off.

Can't shut my brain off

I can't stop thinking about all this adoption stuff. I wish I had more info and I feel like the 12th can't get here fast enough to learn more and get this started. Can my info packet please come in the mail!!!!!!!

I'm back and boy am I overwhelmed!

I'm sorry I've been gone so long. We have moved to Oklahoma, I'm working full time at a job I love. DH is working at a good he likes and can grow at. I got in to Oklahoma University. I finished my AA (only took forever). We have taken time off since getting the news that we have male factor infertility. We have been putting back money here and there for IVF, planning that one day we'll have the money. That being said I kinda feel like fertility has been on the back burner these past few months and we've just been standing still. I'm sure you all know that feeling. We've talked many times about looking into adoption, and then many more times about doing when we moved, then once or twice since moving but never made any movement about anything. Please ask how things are going and I had nothing to say. Then out of the blue yesterday my mom text me and say she has an interview with the state adoption people. I guess just as a clerk or something but it got me thinking. I mentioned to the hubby that we should talk to them and really think about it because it can take years to get a baby and hopefully in three years I'll have my BA and it might take that long to get a baby. He says ok, yeah we should think about it and talk to them about the process and just get all the info. Part of me was thinking he just wants me to shut up. I filled out the form online to get an info packet, not thinking anything about it. Well this morning the girl calls and says were sending your stuff do you have questions. Still not thinking to much about it, they have 7 days to call whatever. Well an hour later the women calls and says where are you, what do you think and you start with an info session and fill out paperwork and start the background paperwork. At this point I'm thinking ok not to scary but Dh might be upset about this meeting, it might be to fast we haven't talked about it being real or anything. I called him at lunch and said are you ok with this meeting, can i say we'll be there. He said YES. I was kinda surprised, although I don't think he knows whats all goes into getting approved but I guess this meeting is the first step. I feel like we made a huge decision. The worse part is I feel it was on accident. Like I wasn't planning on looking into yesterday or talk to them today and bam were moving forward with adoption. We haven't closed the door on IVF, were still saving but I know we are way off. It's crazy because I know it could take along time but then again it could be christmas. This whole thing is so overwhelming!!!!!!! I'm kinda freaking out! Any advice??