Tuesday, June 19, 2012

I'm back and boy am I overwhelmed!

I'm sorry I've been gone so long. We have moved to Oklahoma, I'm working full time at a job I love. DH is working at a good he likes and can grow at. I got in to Oklahoma University. I finished my AA (only took forever). We have taken time off since getting the news that we have male factor infertility. We have been putting back money here and there for IVF, planning that one day we'll have the money. That being said I kinda feel like fertility has been on the back burner these past few months and we've just been standing still. I'm sure you all know that feeling. We've talked many times about looking into adoption, and then many more times about doing when we moved, then once or twice since moving but never made any movement about anything. Please ask how things are going and I had nothing to say. Then out of the blue yesterday my mom text me and say she has an interview with the state adoption people. I guess just as a clerk or something but it got me thinking. I mentioned to the hubby that we should talk to them and really think about it because it can take years to get a baby and hopefully in three years I'll have my BA and it might take that long to get a baby. He says ok, yeah we should think about it and talk to them about the process and just get all the info. Part of me was thinking he just wants me to shut up. I filled out the form online to get an info packet, not thinking anything about it. Well this morning the girl calls and says were sending your stuff do you have questions. Still not thinking to much about it, they have 7 days to call whatever. Well an hour later the women calls and says where are you, what do you think and you start with an info session and fill out paperwork and start the background paperwork. At this point I'm thinking ok not to scary but Dh might be upset about this meeting, it might be to fast we haven't talked about it being real or anything. I called him at lunch and said are you ok with this meeting, can i say we'll be there. He said YES. I was kinda surprised, although I don't think he knows whats all goes into getting approved but I guess this meeting is the first step. I feel like we made a huge decision. The worse part is I feel it was on accident. Like I wasn't planning on looking into yesterday or talk to them today and bam were moving forward with adoption. We haven't closed the door on IVF, were still saving but I know we are way off. It's crazy because I know it could take along time but then again it could be christmas. This whole thing is so overwhelming!!!!!!! I'm kinda freaking out! Any advice??

4 comments:

  1. It is always nice to have another Sooner fan move into state. Sounds like you guys have had a lot going on and it will just take some time to get settled with work and everything else. Sorry I dont have any advice on the adoption question. I have been told that the process is a long one and since you are also saving up for ivf, what would it hurt to get the ball rolling?

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  2. Glad to see you're back and doing well. Congrats on getting into school and finishing your AA. I've looked into adoption just to be prepared in case I decided to go that route, and yes, it does seem to take a long time. However, it can also happen very quickly so make sure you both are ready. But from what I know, you're not even considered to be a waiting family until all your paperwork is completed including background checks, reference letters, and a home study. That all can take so long to complete, I think I read somewhere like 3-4 months if you rush things along. So if you just start slowly with the paperwork you should be fine, and then see how you both feel as it progresses. Good luck!!! Oh, and read some blogs. I got the most reliable information reading about the process on some blogs. Here are a few I read. Their stories are a little old, so you might need to go back a few years, but they're worth it.

    http://rebekahpinchback.blogspot.com/ and http://wheredoibegain.blogspot.com/ These two are a birth mother and the adopted mother who both blogged about the experience. It's neat to read it from both points of view, and gives you an idea what an open adoption can be like.

    http://jrhauck.blogspot.com/
    http://eidsonfamilyjourney.blogspot.com/

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  3. Glad you are back!! Sounds like you have been crazy busy. I don't have any advice about the adoption process, but it can't hurt to go to the first meeting to hear about everything, right? Let us know how it goes.

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  4. Yay! You're back! I missed you! Even though you may not have been planning on getting into adoption so quickly I think it is totally meant to be. Even if it takes a while the feeling that you are doing something is great. I hope you both feel great moving forward.

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