Monday, April 15, 2013


I can't believe we are back here. I feel like I've been very numb lately and a bad blogger. One of my good friends delivered her baby just shy of 34 weeks so I've been trying to be as supportive as I can without being over bearing. It really puts things in perspective. It's one thing to not be able to control my body or when well be able to start a family but it's 10 times harder to see your friend not be able to see her kid in the nicu and hear her cry. It kills me. I wonder if it kills anyone to see me in pain. Wait, now I sound selfish.

So far this cycle hasn't been to bad. I haven't had any killer headache like last time. I don't know if I am in a much better head space and work place this time or if going to the chiropractor and getting acupuncture done. Last cycle we got throw the very good but shocking curve ball that we didn't need a donor, the next day later my cycle started and I got moved to a new job in the company and it was just exteremly stressful on top of horrible headaches.

This cycle I feel numb almost. I don't feel like this is happening. I don't know if I'm not into it or protecting myself or what. I hope I start feeling more positive and happy and ready.

I'm trying to work extra tomorrow because I finally get to have all my allergy testing Thursday! Wed I have acupuncture. If I do end up with a headache that should help. Then allergy doctor Thursday and US Friday.


  1. I often felt pretty numb going forward, especially after a loss (*hugs*) Hoping for this cycle, and that things get easier. It sounds like everything is very stressful for you right now.

  2. *hugs* I hope this will be THE cycle for you