Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Jelly

That's what I call jealousy when I'm trying to play it down. Man I swear Somedays it just comes out of nowhere. Normally I can be happy for everybody else without beig to sad for myself and other days (I think it's when I'm pmsing or on af tht it happens most) I wanna punch someone.

I know other people are older than me, I know other people have an equally hard time if not harder than me but sometimes even when an infertile gets pregnant it stings. I'm so happy for all of you when you finally get pregnant or for those who lose babies get futher along. Somedays I wanna cry. I'm younger then most and I've trying longer then most and I feel like when is it my turn?

Now I'm crying because I feel so ashamed! I should be happy for more babies, no matter how they are made. I should be greatful I'm pmsing so we can start iuI. I should be happy we get to do iUI. I'm just so jelly! I just want to be a mom.

5 comments:

  1. Fingers crossed for your appointment tomorrow. Hope you like Dr. H.

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  2. I hear you about the jelly. It's no fun but nothing to be ashamed about. we all have it!

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  3. I SO hear you!! I'm in pms right now and it's not pretty. Yesterday I walked into the shoe store and immediately saw that 2 of the 3 ladies behind the front counter were p******t. I was "this close" to just turning around and leaving. I sucked it up but it was not easy.

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  4. We have all been in your shoes, there is no reason to be ashamed. I am part of an awesome online fertility support group, but of course I am one of the last few still not pregnant. It really sucks some times, but our time WILL come :)I know that's not always easy to believe, but know that you are not alone in your thoughts or in your journey

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  5. I think it's completely and totally natural to feel this way. IF hurts so bad and anytime anyone else gets a BFP it's like why not me too? It's like being continuiously excluded from some special club you just can't join no matter what. *hugs*

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