Well

Yesterday after the whole sperm thing, DH told me he thinks he's been feeling weird because he thinks he might have had another seizure, he also noticed he'd bitten his tongue. That of course became my main concern more so than a baby. Although I have to admit I couldn't stop thinking about it. I just want a plan it makes me feel better. DH didn't want to talk at all yesterday because he felt yucky and needed to sleep. That was really hard.

I'm worried about DH mostly because he shouldn't be having seizures while on meds. Then he tells me he misses pills a lot...ugh men I swear. Plus he drives a car for a living and I can't think about him having a seizure while driving. I've been telling him for along time he needed a new job but I think he finally sees my point.

Our focus for now is to find DH a job! Were looking all over the country, mostly to get out of FL....I hope!

Once were moved or at least have a new job here well get back to the baby thing. We agreed to look into everything from adoption, foster care, IVF, sperm donor but we both already know were going to start with donor sperm, we have talked about it before, but if it makes DH feel better to look into everything I'll do whatever makes me happy, even if I just want to get back to trying.

Am I horrible for feeling like we've wasted four years and now this whole cycle since we didn't find out until cd2. I just want to start trying now! I know we need to worry about a job first but it's hard not to want a baby.