Saturday, January 15, 2011

Doing some real soul searching

I was watching Suzie Orman talk to the octomom before I left for work today, and I didn't get to finish it but it really made me think and wonder if were doing the right thing trying to start a family right now.

We don't have credit card debit, but we do have a couple medical bills and an old apt in collections. We have ALOT of student loan debit and nothing to show for it as of yet. We only have one car although we are months (3) from paying it off. After watching her talking about making it isn't living pay check to pay check making it is not being in debit and that if you can't afford you how do you spend money on having a baby, or bring another person into the picture.

It really makes me think. Are we doing the right thing by trying. I mean we don't have a child and is there a reason for that? Does God know something we don't?

It pains me to think about waiting a year, I know I'll only be 26 then but it really freaks me out each year we go along with no baby that maybe we won't get one. My mom didn't have babies past the age of 28 and that freaks me out.

As you can tell I've got a lot on my mind and battling with what I want and what is best. I mean we've already said we aren't preventing but after three years I don't see it happening without help and we said we won't go back to the doctor till Sep. What's a few more months past that? Man now I have a pit in my stomach. I just don't know!

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