Well were back from Gainsville! We had a blast, it didn't end super well but thats ok.
I thought I would be getting away for a couple days to relax and hang out and chill. The thing is I forgot you can't take a break from infertility. It finds you where ever you go. It's all I could think about I'll be honest. I just wanted to have lots of sex and think about babies and read blogs and emails and just be in a me me me, babies babies babies bubble. It's hard because I know that DH doesn't understand.
It was a very short trip and like I posted Saturday I got a text about my friend loosing her baby and then Sunday a good friend, actually my maid of honor in our wedding announced she was pregnant. She got married in Oct. It's so hard, why was I so happy for one friend and the other I want to punch. I mean I know why, one tried for two years and the other wasn't trying. I know why but it's still hard. This thought made me wonder, when I'm walking down the street and I see a pregnant women if I tell myself they tried for years for that baby will that make me want to NOT trip her while she walks by? Then it hit me only 3-5% of women suffer from infertility which is only 1 in 20 at most and so I don't know if I can lie to myself. Darn it!
On the tcc note, i guess I'm on cd19. I think I may have OVed on cd 17, or 18 but I have no clue. I never got a +opk, my bbs were pretty big Friday but didn't hurt in the least till Saturday and even now they don't hurt to touch or lay on which isn't like me post ovulation so I don't know. When can I test then? Do I just go with ten days past the last soy pill I took and then count 14 days after that? I don't know!!