One of the girls I've become really close to on the blogs text me tonight and said she was bleeding. She was 11 weeks and tried two long years for this baby. Was on an extra round of clomid past what they normally do. She just got her beta back and it's 4500. Way to low for 11 weeks. We all know what the doctor will read from the u/s. She's losing the baby and it just hurts my heart.
We all know how easy it is to get close to each other and to be friends on facebook and to talk everyday and to go thru this with her for two years and then to be so happy and then it's like just ripped away so close to the "safe zone" and it's just crappy! I hate it!
On top of feeling horrible for her it just brings back all those bad memories of my lost. Then you think man how can I think about getting pregnant and being happy then think you can get all the way to 11 weeks and still be crushed. I want to be pregnant more than anything and it just makes me think if I finally get my baby and I finally get pregnant how am I ever going to be chill or calm at all. It's like man A)pregnancy isn't the goal, bring home a healthy baby is and B)getting pregnant is SO HARD for us and it's only half that battle.
I hate this, I was having a very chill, relaxing weekend away and BAM infertility and loss still finds you. I just don't know how to handle all these emotions. I just want to cry!